Day 100, 90km: by Chris

The road was still straight, it is still hot, and we were still relying on ice based products as much as oxygen to keep us going. The below picture sums up the day.

After 88km I stopped at what looked like a guesthouse and asked a group of girls outside if we could stay. The price was reasonable and they had wifi. But when Amy arrived she started making excuses to carry on. Utterly confused and amazed that she wanted to continue cycling (this was not like her at all), I just went along with my wife and asked questions later. Apparently I'd completely missed the fact the 'girls' were all sat around in nighties and pyjamas and according to Amy, 'were quite clearly lady-boys'. On reflection, I think it was unusual for them to rent rooms out for the entire night.

We found a real hotel 2km further on instead.

Today is the hundredth day on the road, we have now cycled 3400 miles and raised over £100 for charity.

Day 99, 47km: by Amy

We took a short cut through Kaeng Tana national park which on google maps looked like roads but was actually 5km on rocky footpaths through the forest. The route also involved 2 very dodgy rusty suspension bridges with wooden slats to cross the river far below to reach an island and another to the far side of the second channel. There were rotten planks and slats missing. We walked tentatively and gently near the edge, nervously pushing our bikes over the gaps.

After this we had a hot ride with pretty views of a reservoir and an early finish at the tiny border town of Chong Mek where we spent the rest of the afternoon cooling down and eating. (In a moment of confusion, Chris got the exchange rate wrong and accidentally checked me into a nice hotel with air con - woohoo!)

 

Day 98, Rest day at Pha Team: by Chris

This morning we rested and didn't do a lot, then it was too hot to do anything anyway so we rested some more. I got restless though, so headed out into the sun on my bike, riding over the puckered bedrock exploring our desert-like surroundings. In the afternoon I returned to take Amy on a walk to see mushroom shaped rocks, patches of wild flowers, savannah like vistas and pre-historic cave paintings. Unfortunately she was suffering with a headache due to caffeine withdrawal and the intense heat. We watched the orange sun set behind the horizon, then cycled to a small diner to rehydrate and refuel.

Trying to find the cave paintings

Day 97, 70km: by Amy

We woke at dawn to watch the beautiful sunrise over the rocks.  

I was too hot by 07:30 even with a soaked shirt and an ice pop. Not a good sign. 

We continued on, having lunch in another shady shelter. We'd eaten all our food and we're still hungry when as if by magic a man drove up in a cake van.

The glorious cake van

One of Amy's many sun shading solutions

 

 It was a wise stop on his part as Chris got overexcited and bought most of his stock. When it got a bit cooler we finished the ride to Pha Taem national park. We were the only ones in a campsite with immaculate facilities and the nice man in charge decided we did not have to pay for our stay :-)

Day 96, 67km: by Chris

The night was thermal agony squashed into the tent: The door has to be zipped up tight to stop the mosquito army getting in, but this condemns us to a night of earth-core temperatures, lying there sweating like someone squeezing a saturated sponge.

In the morning we could hear voices not too far away, so we packed up as stealthily as possible and made our way through the undergrowth back to the road. Along the way Amy's bike got caught in a stubborn bush and while she was trying to wrench it free she was attacked by a colony of large red ants. They swarmed all over her and up inside her clothes within seconds. She freaked out a tad, but skilfully managed to do so without making any noise. I quickly started brushing away the insects while she frantically pulled off those that had attached themselves stubbornly to her skin. When we finally made it to the road Amy had lots of tiny blisters where the ants had sprayed their acid, but we had remained undiscovered.

In the next town we found a real 7eleven where we bought bread, cheese, butter, crisps and slushy ice drinks. We then sought out fruit and returned to the 7eleven for another slushy drink which we took 5km down the road to a shady pagoda only for me to throw mine down a muddy bank. This made me angry, but I was distracted by the arrival of a uniquely odd  little thai man on a pink bicycle who began trying to snatch away our empty water bottles. He eventually got one and ran off with it. A few minutes later he returned with it full of water so I filtered it with our pump while Amy tried to distract him with our map. He was very persistent though and managed to run off with a second, despite trying to tell him we really didn't want any more water because we had loads already. He was kind and overly helpful, but very odd, none'-the less.

Amy negotiates with the crazy bottle-grabbing man:

 

In the afternoon we cycled past more bedrock in a semi-desert like landscape under a roasting sun, sweat dripping of our heads and stinging our eyes.

We reached a place called Sam-Phan-Bok with a few hours of light to spare exploring plateaus of rock riddled with hollows and pools left exposed by the Mekong river in the dry season.

Day 95, 70km:

Today was hot. I wrapped a wet bandanna around my face in an attempt to stop it burning. 

Thankfully in Thailand there are lots of shady pagodas with benches by the roadside. We are not sure if these are bus stops or picnic spots but regardless, they are most welcome. No longer will we have to eat lunch perched on rocks in the bushes. 

 

On the way we passed what I think was a monk ordination ceremony; a man dressed in white sat on the back of a flat bed truck whilst the whole village danced behind conga style to loud music. 

After a prolonged lunch break / siesta because of the heat we realised that we were not going to make it to San Phan Bok, our next destination, in one day. Thankfully we passed some fantastic camping opportunities; grassland and scrubby forest on bedrock with little streams flowing through it. We decided to stop. 

Finding a campsite in the bush

Day 94, 21km: by Chris

A Laos tuktuk

Because we arrived so late last night, we needed to get our money's worth of hotel time in the morning instead, so we waited until the last possible second to check-out. We then hung around for a while, Amy wrote some important emails, I glued the flapping soles of my shoes back on and we acquired food supplies for the next three days. Savannakhet doesn't have much else to offer other than an imitation 7eleven selling processed cheese slices and kitkats, so we spent most of our remaining kips on these expensive rarities then cycled to the border bridge across the Mekong.

The border bridge.

 Ridiculously, we were not permitted to bicycle across the bridge, or walk across pushing our bikes on the footpath. Luckily, the border officially felt sorry for us so waited until someone turned up in a pick-up then ran out to request that he should take us across. We bundled onto the back of the reluctant mans truck with all our luggage and he drove us over the bridge at 80mph while we clung on for our lives to the sides of the rear compartment.

Crossing the border bridge at 80mph

 Even the border police didn't know why the stupid no-cycling rule existed.

On the Thai side we were almost caught out by the fact they drive on the left, but made it to the first town safely and found a hotel for £4.

Day 93, 122km: by Amy

We were planning to cross into Thailand today but the boat only lets Laos and Thai nationals across at this border and the bridge crossing was 15km back the way we'd come.

Instead we found a little back road on the Laos side along the banks of the Mekong which took us to the next border crossing in the south at Savannakhet.

It took ages to find provisions in Thakek, mainly because Chris kept looking forlornly in all the little shops for cheese to put in the yummy baguettes we had found. This was futile, and consequently we didn't set off until 9am by which time the sun was roasting hot. There was little shade but it was flat so we got up enough speed to get a breeze. 

 

At lunch time we sat on the riverbank watching longboats unload their cargo at village docks while eating our crisp and tomato sandwiches followed by some mystery doughnuts (this time filled with ear wax or pea paste).

Ear wax doughnut

 

It took us until just after dark to get into Savannakhet which meant we got to ride in the (relative) cool of the evening and watch a glorious orange/pink sunset.

 

 

Day 92, 103km: by Chris

Today we got on our bikes and cycled 100km down a long, busy, straight, flat (although Amy will disagree with this, but as far as I'm concerned a 'hill' is a gain of at least 500ft) road. On the way we met a french couple who were also on a big cycle trip.

 

 

 

 I ran over a poo on the verge (human or animal, who's to know), we had lunch in a field and drank lots of ice slushy drinks from roadside vendors. A landscape of scrubby fields with hazy mountains in the distance prevailed all the way to Thakek.

In 1970, during the secret war, the Americans flew hundreds of air raids, dropping thousands of planting troughs on the Laos countryside.

Day 91, 50km: by Amy

We picked up some bread that the friendly guy at the bakery had made especially for us and he gave us a free coffee each as well, which I put in my thermos for later.

We headed out of town and up the steep hill ahead of us which was made easier by the impressive rock formations and the fact I knew exactly how long it was. At the top we admired the amazing views again and I chatted to an Irish guy on a moped who was 60 and had travelled and taught English in Asia for 14 years. 

After the pass the rest of the day was mostly down or flat. We had lunch by a river in the shade. Unfortunately it turned out to be on an ants nest and their counter attack moved us on before the midday sun had started to lose its heat. 

Thankfully I spotted a slushy seller 5km later. These are tables by the road with a blender and various pots of syrup and powder. If you stop the proprietor will mix flavoured syrup of your choice with condensed milk and lots of glorious ice in a blender making the most amazing slushy drink ever for about 40p.

Chris had whizzed off ahead so I had to cycle with the slushy drinks hanging in bags off my handle bars which the shopkeeper found amusing.  Chris was very grateful when I caught him up though. 

 

Day 90, kong-lor Cave:

This morning I hired a motorbik (that's what the sign said it was) to ride to kong-lor cave. The bloke who was hiring it out performed a brief safety check, which as far as I could see involved checking that both the front and rear wheels where present and that it started. He then gave me the keys. Not wanting to embarrass myself or risk having the motorbike taken away, I did not admit I had very little idea how one was supposed to operate a motorbik. The 'little idea' I had came from the Australian moped tourer we met a week ago when I asked him what all the flappy chrome leavers by his feet did. I jolted and lurched down the road, the neglected kickstand still deployed and scraping the gravel. I picked up Amy and we wobbled off to get food and fuel (although I didn't know where to put the fuel). We made it to the caves, dodging 70% of the major potholes and having very little capability of stopping. The front brake was less effective than pushing limp celery against the wheel and although the back brake worked satisfactorily, it was operated by a right hand foot peddle; a reflex action I had yet to master. Along the way I admired amazing rock formations in the distance for the very brief moments that I dared afford the slightest bit of concentration on something other than trying to drive a moped without hitting a villager.

 

The caves were formed by a river which runs 8km through a mountain. We took a motorised wooden canoe, admiring illuminated stalactites and stalagmites along the way. After lunch, we visited konglo village to find a family that both my brothers had visited in the past to make it a hatrick. Unfortunately, only the mother was home, and we woke her from her siesta. She seemed to find the situation quite funny though.

 

 

 A quest completed. All three brothers have now visited this poor family in Laos.

 

 Before returning the scooter, we then took it to the top of a hill we will have to cycle up tomorrow so Amy could gauge how much effort would be required of her and to admire the view.

Perhaps the scariest thing possible

Day 89, 61km: by Amy

We awoke in our hidden camp feeling secure and got ready in a leisurely fashion. Thankfully we were all packed up when a moped stopped on the dirt track 50m away. We froze and crouched silently, waiting. The guy started walking up the footpath up the hill. We could just about see him through the bushes. Then inconceivably he started bush whacking in our general direction. When he got to within 2 metres (still not seeing us but now on top of us) I stood up and said 'Sabadee' (hello in Lao). He seemed shocked; I shook his hand and introduced myself and showed him where we were going. He didn't seem angry, he just watched with interest while we set the bikes up and even helped me push my trailer on the overgrown path out to the track. Then he left with us. We can only assume he heard the stove or us talking the night before and came to investigate this morning. Chris was gutted as he's only ever been discovered in a wild camp once before and this was a particularly hidden spot. Still, at least the man wasn't mad at us. 

The rest of the day passed without incident. We met a Korean cycle tourist in a shell suit and a male Spanish cycle tourist in Lycra hot pants and a tank top. We stopped for lunch in a yummy noodle bar much to my delight because we had run out of bread. 

 

 

The afternoon hill was not as bad as expected and we arrived at NaHin (gateway to Kong-Lor cave) early and checked into a little guesthouse bungalow. 

 

 

Day 88, 64km: by Chris

We were roused from slumber by Amy's stealth alarm clock which is set to sound like a loud cricket, then finished the gruelling climb.

Down the other side, past hillsides thick with jungle, on several occasions I saw men on the road with semi-automatic rifles wearing nondescript kaki clothes. I hoped they were the police and did not stop to photograph them.

 We cycled down onto a flat cultivated plain dotted with towering mountains of rock rising sheer out of the valley bottom, flanked by grey cliffs and bristling with trees. I bought 4 bananas from a local woman but when i realised they cost a penny each I got 16 more. We are also enjoying much quieter roads, cleaner rivers and less littered gutters than China. Lunch was eaten on a roadside log next to a large clump of Mimosa pudica: An amazing plant which instantly folds its leaves against its stem if touched to prevent anything eating

 Magic plant with leaves open

Seconds after its been touched

 We then sped down flat, straight roads past decrepit logging trucks made from recycled army lorries and hillsides of scrub that had been deforested years ago. That night we camped in deep foliage amongst vines and wild pineapples.

Ancient logging truck

Day 87, 58km: by Amy

I found a little puppy outside our bungalow this morning which meant I started the day happy.

The morning was lovely and flat. We stopped under a tree for a break and Chris was complaining about the lack of hills 'which make it interesting'. Shortly after just as the temperature was soaring we hit a massive sustained 12% incline for 4km. I was unimpressed and blamed Chris entirely for wishing hills upon us. We descended down the other side into a pretty river valley and had lunch on a tree stump next to a pretty stream. 

 

Lunchtime

 

 I was reluctant to leave the shady stream bank as it was roasting and we had another climb ahead. However, we had ground to cover so i dowsed myself in the stream and headed out. Unfortunately the next climb was even bigger and just as steep as the last. This was definitely higher than the vague contour lines on the map suggested we should be going. Having realised we were not going to accomplish the 80km days I'd planned (when I thought it was all flat) my motivation to finish the climb waned. Instead chris found an awesome camp spot by a mountain stream hidden on an old forest track. 

 

Washing in the stream

Day 86, 96km: by Chris

Now that the emergency tyre is on my front wheel, my bike sounds like the workings of a ski-lift because it hums loudly on the Tarmac. This is because it is a knobbly cross country mountain biking tyre. I already had this special foldable lightweight tyre before assembling the bicycle first aid kit, and I'm not the kind of guy who spends £30 on a new road specific one if I've already got the other. At least it doesn't kill inner tubes. Unfortunately though, penetration punctures will now be a big part of my life again because I no longer have any puncture resistant tyres on my bike (Amy has them all) and the light weight foldable tyre is so thin I might as well have a party balloon wrapped around my front wheel. We passed lots of traditional Laos villages today, full of woven bamboo houses perched on wooden stilts below and grass or corrugated iron roofs on top. Many of these structures list and bow in all directions but the design is obviously successful regardless of my personal reservations. Under the house between the stilts is the Laos person's garage: Here we commonly see mum's wooden loom and dad's tractor-on-a-stick

A tractor-on-a-stick:

Traditional Laos family house:

. In almost every village all the children wave enthusiastically and after a while our return waves and greetings become more exhausting than the cycling itself. We cycled down long straight roads for the most part and tried to find a place to camp in the late afternoon. There were plenty of possibilities but as the schools had recently kicked out there were also plenty of annoying kids everywhere. Luckily I stumbled across a gueshouse (that's what most if the signs say in Lao) but as I was paying, Amy steamed past and missed my bike by the side if the road. She enjoyed an extra 4km today.

Day 85, 61km by Amy

After our free breakfast we set out through wheat fields and crater pocked hills. We arrived at Muamg Khoun for lunch beneath a 400 yr old Buddhist Stupa surrounded by wildflowers. 

 

 

Chris had put my tyres on his bike as we can buy inner tubes to fit his wheels. Unfortunately my tyres were still slipping on his wheels pulling at the valve. He spent the lunch hour coating the sidewalls in puncture repair glue in an attempt to prevent the wheels slipping and causing another valve failure.

After lunch we climbed a big pass with awesome views over the mountains. 

We had just started to look for a camp spot on the way down when Chris's tyre went flat. The glue idea had failed. We spent a while debating what to do... could we buy new tyres from anywhere? Or a big bag of inner tubes? Could we use tape or superglue to stick the wheel to the rim? After 20 minutes, Chris said: 'we could use the spare tyre'. I couldn't believe he'd gone to the effort of gluing the old one on before considering this but (he said) 'it's only for direst of emergencies'. I felt we had reached this point. 

Thankfully the puncture had occurred next to a maze of footpaths in the undergrowth on a flat shoulder of land; perfect for camping. 

We hauled the bikes down, changed the tyres and managed to get in our tent with dinner before a massive thunderstorm struck. 

 

     

Days 83 & 84, Rest Days at Phonsavan:

Phonsaven is known for 2 things: 

1. It is home to the "Mysterious Plain of Jars". The whole area is scattered with massive carved out stone jars. Nobody knows what they were for but the best guess at the moment is that they were funeral urns. 

 

 

2. It is the centre of the most bombed province in the most bombed country in the world.

During the Vietnam war the Americans dropped more than 270million cluster bombs over Laos (despite the fact that Laos was neutral) between 1963 and 1974. Unfortunately 30% never detonated, meaning farming or even walking around in the countryside here is a hazardous business. 

As well as much chilling and eating we spent the first day here exploring a site of jars. We then spent the second day visiting the MAG (mines advisory group) centre learning about the secret war. Check out:

http://www.maginternational.org/where-mag-works/laos/#.UoJCx2Qayc0

Who put it far more eloquently than I could. The guy working at the centre was from a local village and had been trained to do bomb disposal, working in the fields for over a year. Pretty harrowing stuff. 

We also visited the Quality of Life Association which is a charity that helps with medical bills for those injured by bombs and helps rehabilitate them.

Day 82, 73km: by Chris

After more uphill Amy's rear innertube valve failed for a second time this trip. This time it looked like the valve had just come away from the tube. Luckily I'd managed to replace our spare in Luang-Prabang so in it went leaving us without a spare innertube for the second time. We descended to a cultivated plateau, sparse of trees and full of rice paddies and perfectly domed haystacks. Sitting in a grassy roadside meadow we ate a very pleasant but limited lunch in the sun. We were running low on food and the village shops are worse than those in China. They sell crab or salmon flavoured Crisps and inflated packets containing mostly air which cushions a small crumb of unknown food. Nothing substantial. On the road again and with 25km still to go, bafflingly, Amy's rear innertube valve burst again. This was a challenge now because I could not fix it and we had no spares. I tried to fix an older valve and glue it onto the failed tube but this was in vain. The solution was to cannibalise Amy's trailer, using its wheel on the front of her bike (leaving her without a front brake) and the innertube from her front wheel in the rear tyre. I carried the panniers and Amy's front wheel on the top of my trailer and the frame of Amy's trailer was balanced on top of her rack. We eventually limped into Phonsavan town at 18:00 as thick grey clouds bloomed in the sky and dusk was setting in. Looking at the place I was doubtful I would be able to find the specific Presta valve innertubes we need for Amy's rims here. That evening after hours of mulling and puzzling I came to the conclusion the tyre must be slipping on the rim, pulling the innertube with it and ripping the valve off which gets left in the hole. Luckily my bike is capable of taking car tyre valves which are easily obtainable here so I will swap to these and Amy can have my presta valve innertubes. This gives us a spare again so fingers crossed. Although this was good news, the bad news came from BBC news online when we found out typhoon Haiyan is heading our way.

Amy's trailer saves the day

Day 81, 68km: by Amy

The hills were less ferocious today but the views were still fantastic over the hazy green mountains. For most of the morning the road undulated along a ridge top through little villages. All these places had 'World Vision' sponsored taps which are well used. Each village also has a shop selling sweets and drinks and a little wooden shack petrol station. We cycle through dodging a menagerie of animals on the road and returning Sabadee's (hellos) to the children who all wave and greet us enthusiastically.

That evening Chris found a camp spot behind tall grass right by the road. It was on the switch back of a climb so you could hear the traffic a long way off. It was weird being so close to people and yet totally invisible but the views of the valley were awesome and we slept like babies.

the petrol pumps in rural Laos

Day 80, 68km: by Chris

Amy passed me all our equipment piece by piece down a steep earthen bank we'd climbed to get to our campsite then we cycled up through the morning mist into the sunshine, looking down on cloud filled valleys

. We passed bushes bright with yellow flowers and long lines of local women selling vegetables from bamboo huts. Amy was suffering from lack of caffeine but a Pepsi at the top of the hill rejuvenated her. An unexpected big climb and an extra 3km more than the roadside markers had promised us meant we only just got to our planned town before nightfall. With the help of a friendly Australian who was exploring Asia on a moped we found a guesthouse that was happy for me to put our bikes in the room (after some firm negotiation).

Day 79, 65km: by Amy

We left with a hug each from the optimistic elderly guesthouse owner who felt we could do the 250km to Phonsaven in a couple of days.

After a short flat section the road began some serious climbing which in our delicate and somewhat dehydrated condition was tough work. I spotted a live version of the huge squashed centipedes we'd seen by the side of the road. Apparently they eat rodents and lizards!

We crested the pass as school finished. All the school kids were wielding machetes but thankfully they were friendly and even offered to give me a push to get me up the last bit of the hill. 

Unfortunately we decended as far as we'd climbed (2000ft) and then were faced with the prospect of another 20km 2000ft climb to a village with a guesthouse. With 2 hrs of light left we realised we couldn't make it. 

Instead Chris found a perfect camp spot on a disused path in the jungle. The only downside being that some jungle insect ate lots of tiny holes in the groundsheet overnight.

Days 74, 75, 76, 77 & 78, Rest Days in Luang-Prabang:

The first day was spent sitting in a bakery eating baguettes and milkshakes. This place is a utopia for me as Laos was once colonial French so retains some French cuisine

 

. We quickly learnt about two tourist attractions here that are totally blown out if all proportion: A waterfall and a cave. if, regrettably, you might forget to visit one of these, help is on hand because the tuktuk drivers provide a comprehensive reminder service. The waterfall was a series of idyllic turquoise bathing pools in the jungle above a cascade of water and next to a spacious asiatic bear sanctuary full of happy rescued bears. The cave was a long boring boat ride up the brown Mekong to see two indentations in the side of a cliff full of dusty little gold Buddhas and a toilet that cost 30p to use. All things considered, the waterfall was better.

 

 

After the caves i lazed around and fixed small bicycle glitches while Amy visited Buddhist temples and spent the afternoon chatting to a novice monk who wanted to practice his English. The day got much worse though - by evening and into the night we were both violently emptying our upper and lower intestinal tracts from food poisoning. During this horrendous time somehow I managed to lock us out of the bathroom which was hugely regrettable. The whole ordeal left us feeling rather fragile on the fourth day when we visited a elephant rescue sanctuary to learn how to be a mammut (elephant driver). for lunch an all you can eat buffet was laid on for us but tragically neither Amy or I were in any fit state to abuse it.

74, 116km: by Amy

Thankfully the mozzie net kept our bathroom friend away overnight. The lovely guesthouse owner brewed us a cup of fresh Lao coffee each before we left. Chris was fascinated by the man's Mina bird which had learnt to replicate all the sounds of the bus station- creaking door, horns, squeaky breaks and laughter (as well as 'hello' in 3 languages). The day was hot, sunny and predominantly flat along the river so we made amazing time.

Chris found a lunch spot but I struggled to find him. Our speedos were different because I had stopped to take pictures and our two-way radios were being temperamental due to the thick jungle. I was getting hot and hungry (=grumpy) looking for him. At that moment 2 Canadian cycle tourists cycled past. They were really nice and we chatted for a while. They were puzzled as to why Chris and I don't cycle together (a fact I was lamenting at the time) but our paces are so different it just doesn't work. I'd bought some random eggs that had been drained, mixed with some sort of stock then put back in the shells to be boiled. They tasted good but one was a bit raw. Chris avoided them entirely. The afternoon was incredibly hot, made tolerable only by soaking my shirt and headscarf in a stream. We ploughed on, arriving at Luang Probang in the final moments of daylight.